you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
You took a bar mat shot.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
