also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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