ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Randomize
