we're chasing vodka with high fives
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
