I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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