doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
