So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
