Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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