well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
