We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
