i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
