If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
