No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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