so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
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