Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Randomize
