dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
