so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
She said her name was "party"
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
