first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
