But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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