Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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