I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
