Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
We have started to decorate penises.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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