I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
