My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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