I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
