When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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