Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It's just like the Real World with babies
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Randomize
