your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Randomize
