Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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