Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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