Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
