we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
