So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Every concussion has its silver lining
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
