And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
