To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
