They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
