Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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