Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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