we're blogging at a bar
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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