Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
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