Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
