with your own penis?
The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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