Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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