I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
