She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
