Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
