you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
