No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Randomize
