Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
