you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
